How I found my sense of style

As a little girl, I was fascinated with trends that came and went and how that changed the staples that people wore in their closets everyday. I watched my Mom and Auntie’s adorn themselves each morning with their favorite staples. A good smelling perfume, a favorite pair of earrings, the same beloved scarf. On the streets I saw the Mezezuru women dress in all white. Pristine, even in the hustle and bustle of the grimy central city station in Botswana. I have always loved fashion, and the ways folks dress often inform how they feel about themselves.

Human beings, regardless of gender, sex, culture, or location have used clothing and style to communicate specific things about themselves, their culture, religion, values, occupation and much more. Even the person who is the least concerned about their appearance and clothing has made that conscientious *choice* .

When I came to the United States I was introduced to fast fashion in the form of cheap clothes that needed to be replaced almost every season because of their quality. After watching the film True Cost during my foray into minimalism I truly began to question the impact of my shopping habits and began to address them as mindfully as I could at the time with my broke college kid budget.

Motherhood found me at a crossroads. I needed clothes that fit my changed body. They needed suited my lifestyle as breastfeeding mom, but I also wanted to feel good and comfortable in them. Since I mainly shopped at the mall store clothing clearance racks, I was at the mercy of fast fashion. I never really developed a true sense of style I loved. In western culture, women often experience the pressure of “snapping back” and looking svelte even as their bodies change and fluctuate post-partum. I wanted no part of this mess, but I struggled to find clothing that felt comfortable on my body.

Getting dressed every morning was a chore, I felt frumpy, and I felt annoyed that I was even concerned about something as frivolous as fashion when I had other things to focus on. Then one day my cousin (Thanks Mike!) reminded me that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism and that if there was something that I loved then I should find a way to engage with it in a way that aligns with my personal values. When I look good, or wear pieces that I like, I feel good, and I like to feel good. I deserve to feel good.

My clothes are not linked to how I feel about myself, but are instead an outward extension of my personality. Everyone’s personal style is different and I went on a small journey to find out exactly what I liked. As a caregiver, it was also important for my child to see how my relationship with clothing was one that brought me joy and not frustration. Children learn how to express themselves in play and dress up just as much as we do.

How I did it:

Identify your style- I met Dacy of Mindfulcloset.com through IG. She’s a stylist who gives the best advice when it comes to finding your style. I took her quiz which helped me narrow down the style that resonated with me most. I got bohemian which made a lot of sense.

Daydream and plan- I made a board on Pinterest where I started searching for bohemian and 70’s style clothing and noting what aspects of the images that resonated with me. I like earth tones and natural fabrics, so I was drawn to lots of cotton, hemp, denim, t-shirts, cork, straw, hats, linens, muted stripes and I used those themes to write a list of what I had and what I could add to my wardrobe as time went on.

Being true to myself: I got to chat with Roe of BrownKids in an episode of the black minimalists podcast . We spoke about how to maintain a beautiful life while keeping it minimal. I applied some of Roe’s lessons to my wardrobe. I thought about what my functional and emotional needs were and planned it out. In a nutshell, what did I need from my wardrobe and how did I want it to make me feel.

Once I had my list, I started perusing thrift shops, small shops, even my friends closets for clothes they didn’t want or need anymore. I avoided shopping big box stores or the mall as much as possible but I did make a couple purchases from there. By making sure to shop second hand or handmade/artisan I was able to stick to my values of reducing my contribution to fast fashion and I felt so much better about what I had in my closet and how they looked on my body.

I hope this inspires someone to take a deeper dive into themselves the next time they look at their closet and feel like they have nothing to wear or are searching for a way to define their style.

Peace and straw bags,

Farai